During Rudder 1's Depression on his Connections with Sara Judegtra Rivera being Cut, Rudder became Suicidal Thinking of away to escape his dreaded Pain. After 2 Failed Suicidal Attempts Rudder 1 Showed Signs Of Paranora thinking Sara Didn't Love him at all, He Than tried to Kill himself a third time but again it became a Failed Attempt. April 1st 1980, Rudder 1 Is Fed Up with no one talking to him anymore when he can't even get his best friend Hank to talk to him He attempts to blow his own Conning Tower off with his Own Deck Gun... Scaring everyone In the Harbor. Despite him Surviving the Blast his conning tower was later repaired and Brought back into the water in a number of days. Sara and Rudder 1 Made up that Day Making Rudder 1 Abandon all his Attempts For Becoming Suicidal.